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Random Bible Verse game December 4, 2012

Posted by Ubi Dubium in Games, Responses.
Tags: , , , ,


I was reading a comment thread on NonStampCollector’s Blog:


The post was about how the claim that “the Bible may have some awful things in it, but it’s mainly nice” is bollocks.  The Bible is mostly boring, and of the parts that aren’t boring, most of it is pretty awful.

Anyway, in the comments, commenter James Sweet posted a link to a random Bible verse generator.  He had to be careful in finding one, because a lot of the inspirational sites have generators that only pick from a list of the nicey-nicey stuff, instead of being truly random verses.  But he found a real one, that picks from the whole bible:


Other commenters, trying it, were (un)surprised how quickly a verse would come up containing an atrocity or something truly nasty.  So I gave it a try.  Here’s what came up on my third click:

Exodus 32:27 and he said to them, “Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘Each man fasten his sword on his side, and go back and forth from entrance to entrance throughout the camp, and each one kill his brother, his friend, and his neighbor.”

Third click!

So if anybody out there tries this game, how quickly did you arrive at something awful?

*** Edit: The Chaplain found a link to an improved version of the random generator: http://www.stevenmarkford.com/random-bible-verse-version-2/.  Thanks!


1. hausdorff - December 4, 2012

First try:

2 Chronicles 34:24 This is what the Lord says: ‘I am about to bring disaster on this place and its residents, the details of which are recorded in the scroll which they read before the king of Judah.


ubi dubium - December 4, 2012

First try? Impressive!


2. the chaplain - December 4, 2012

I don’t know if you read through the comments. There was some discussion about how to improve the algorithm, so I clicked on the link (buried in the comments) and got this on my first try:

Amos 9:3 Even if they were to hide on the top of Mount Carmel, I would hunt them down and take them from there. Even if they tried to hide from me at the bottom of the sea, from there I would command the Sea Serpent to bite them.

Not one of the kinder, gentler verses in “the good book,” IMO.


3. john zande - December 4, 2012

Judges 8:1 The Ephraimites said to him, “Why have you done such a thing to us? You did not summon us when you went to fight the Midianites!” They argued vehemently with him.


4. the chaplain - December 4, 2012

Here’s a link to the second version. This is a pretty cool little tool. He’s also got a mobile app.


5. myatheistlife - December 4, 2012

Judges 9:57 God also repaid the men of Shechem for their evil deeds. The curse spoken by Jotham son of Jerub-Baal fell on them.

But that was like 5th try to get something that even made sense.


6. noforbiddenquestions - December 4, 2012

It took me five clicks: 1 Kings 20:42 The prophet then said to him, “This is what the Lord says, ‘Because you released a man I had determined should die, you will pay with your life and your people will suffer instead of his people.’”


7. Sir TJ - December 4, 2012

Second try: Malachi 4:1 “For indeed the day is coming, burning like a furnace, and all the arrogant evildoers will be chaff. The coming day will burn them up,” says the Lord who rules over all. “It will not leave even a root or branch. (NET)

There are still plenty of arrogant evildoers. Please let me know exactly when that day is coming.


8. the chaplain - December 7, 2012

There are still plenty of arrogant evildoers.

…am resisting… the temptation…to insert…a political remark…


9. skepticalmusic - December 7, 2012

I went through about 20 verses and they were all lame. Yep, boring or awful, I got boring.


10. arkenaten - December 15, 2012

Ï am not the Messiah, now fuck off”
“How shall we fuck off o Lord?”

LIfe of Brian Verse 666.
Horrific,right? Shudders 😉


11. Larry - December 21, 2012

Awesome. I love this blog! 😀


12. pyzaist - January 30, 2013

Because taking things out of context is great…


ubi dubium - January 30, 2013

It’s certainly fun! And I see xians use bible verses out of context all the time, so turnabout is fair play.


pyzaist - January 30, 2013

Good point, good point.



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