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Happy Blasphemy day! September 30, 2012

Posted by Ubi Dubium in Events, Rants.
Tags: , ,

Holy Frikking Cosmic Jewish Zombie on a Stick, it’s Blasphemy Day!

People should have the right to say what they deeply believe, and I deeply believe that while people should be respected, ideas should not.  No idea or creed or belief should be off limits to question or criticism.  The more people try to forbid “insult” to something they think is off-limits, the more imperative deliberate refusal to comply with those demands is.  If we all shut up, then  that’s a victory for those who would try to control our opinions.

So here goes:

“Jesus” as portrayed in the gospels never existed.  There may have been an original apocalyptic preacher (or several) named “Jesus” but the legends and misquotes and other rubbish that’s been added in to christianity  have made a historical Jesus as relevant as a historical “Robin of Loxley” would be to Robin Hood legends.

Paul probably had temporal lobe epilepsy or a stroke, then made up a bunch of stuff about someone he had never met.

The Catholic church is more interested in perpetuating its own wealth and power than in human wellbeing.  The Pope reminds me of the Emperor from Star Wars more than anything else.

Joseph Smith was a con artist.  Same goes for L. Ron Hubbard, Rael, and most other founders of religions.

There is nothing wrong with blood transfusions.  Eating meat is just fine.  So is contraception.

The caste system of Hinduism is one of the most cruel and inhumane systems I’ve ever heard of.

Haile Selassie was not a divine being.  Sun Myung Moon wasn’t either.

Prayer does nothing.

Quartz crystals are just pretty rocks, and don’t have any healing energies.

Satan is imaginary.  So is Thor.  Moses, too. most likely.

Faith isn’t a virtue.  Neither is tithing.  The bible isn’t anything special.

Dry sandy Parmesan cheese in a can is acceptable for human consumption (forgive me Your Noodliness, but I can’t leave any religion out!).

o<-<          <-This is Muhammad taking a nap.

Twilight fans are people too.

So, is there anyone’s Sacred Cow that I haven’t poked?  Let me know, so I can make sure to get in a jab on this most unholy of unholy days.



1. cag - September 30, 2012

It is a little known fact that it was a typo that made jesus into a holy man. In the original fiction he was described as holey. The original transcript nailed it, but subsequent translations were spiked by some lazy work. Jesus was on his way to a palm reader when he changed his mind, there was no future in it. Some described jesus as handsome but others described him as holesome.

Praise dog, I will prey for you.


2. the chaplain - October 19, 2012

This whole post is full of blasphemy! Why haven’t you been struck by lightning yet?


ubi dubium - October 19, 2012

I know, right? Not a spark! Have I not offended the correct god yet?

Pikkiwoki, the mud god of New Guinea, isn’t such great shakes.
John Frum is never going to return with more cargo.
Hey Pele! I’m female and I ate pork, and bananas AND coconuts on your island, all Kapu for women. Have at me!
Quetzlcoatl does not require sacrifices to make the sun come up.
Kahless is not coming back from Sto-vo-kor.

No god has seen fit to lash out at me so far for all this disrespect. Who am I missing?


3. selftaughtatheist - October 31, 2012

I agree with everything you say EXCEPT THAT ONE THING YOU SAID ABOUT MY RELIGION. Because mine is the best. And it’s right. All others are wrong. So there.



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